I swear it was THIS big!!!

I just got chased out of the bathroom here at work by a ginormious bug. I ran screaming out of the bathroom cause he got on my flip flop and I screamed, now I have one flip flop. The other one was in the bathroom with the bug. Shalisse went and tried to kill the rat sized monster but he ran into the wall. She got my flop back, and I went to the mens room. I hate bugs!

I Am Just Lucky Like That

Shalisse and I did not ride to work together today so I went to Wal-Mart before I went on the live the MWG lifestyle. (inside joke) So I am cruising down I-40 when I see all these red and blue lights up ahead. So I keep on cruising and you know what...I got to see a guy get arrested! There were 8 motorcycle cops, 2 state troopers, and an APD K-9 Unit SUV there. They put that dude in handcuffs, had all of his doors open, and the trunk open and he was a goona go to jail. Then I took Fillmore instead of Buchanan today, and Fillmore goes right by the city bus stop. APD was having an exciting morning cause I saw them putting a homeless guy in a body bag. I have never seen a dead person before, well I have like at a funeral and stuff but never in person. And I saw one today. Well I just drove by, I didn't get out and check t out or anything. I just saw all sorts of stuff this morning.

What actually happened this weekend.

Ok, if you have not read my Mom's protrayal of this weekend I ask that you please do so before reading this one. www.princessandthebeads.blogspot.com

Ok, my Mom came to stay with me this weekend and we had a blast. I love to hang out with my Mom and I rarely get the opportunity to hang out with just her. I love my little brother more than anyone in the world, but sometimes I want to spend time alone with out Mom. So she comes over like 6:30 on Friday evening. I even vacuumed the apartment for her to come over. Aren't I sweet? So we decide to go to Drug Emporium and look around cause my Mom likes Drug Emporium. We are walking around and #1 we saw a drunk lady clerk talking unusually loud to a customer. I am pretty sure she had been hitting the bottle kind of hard cause she was hollering, and talking really loud, and you could tell that the poor guy was just trying to pick up a package and get the hell away from her. #2 we go down the health food part and we see the diet pills, one of them was called super colon clean. I didn't even know my colon was probably super dirty. But apparently these pills will help. Me and Mom laughed, then went on.

We did make the drag down the Boulevard. I don't know if any of you have ever been on the Boulevard in Amarillo, TX but its not the best place to be in the day light, let alone at night time. We did see hookers. This one hooker had a 3 foot neck. No kidding, I swear it stuck out like a giraffe. I have never seen her there before. I work 6 blocks south of the Boulevard so I see hookers all the time. My Mom did not actually see the hooker that wears a tube top with a bra that has straps but me and Shalisse see her all the time. I don't know where Hollywood got their idea of hookers, but it definently wasn't from Amarillo, TX. We saw one girl with her "manager" he wasn't a good looking fellow himself, which leads me to believe you have to be pretty hard up for some who-ha to get a hooker from Amarillo.

And the Precious Kye Baby Doo, was sick this weekend. Shalisse took him to the doctor and he has an ear infection. And he does not like it!!!

We had an awesome time at the girlies b-day party! It was a perfect day to have a picnic. Not to hot, not to windy, just perfect.

And I know from personal experience Ron and Miss Betty are some of the funniest people I have ever met! They don't see it that way, but they are. And if you ask Betty she will tell you that Ron is the high strung one and she is laid back. BUT if you know the, meet them, or run into them at Wal-Mart you will know that this is not true. Ron is so patient, and Betty will tell you that she thanks God everyday that He brought her such a wonderful loving man.

While my Mom was busy noticing the heated ice scrapers, I was more concerned with the unusually large amounts of men's underwear that people were trying to sell. And its not even like these undies were still in packages, no ma'am. They were used, worn, undies. We have been poor before, I mean POOR! But not once has my Mom ever turned to me and said Baby Gator we are going garages saling to find you some panties. I don't know if people buy used undergarments at garage sales, but this just seems unsanitary. Not even gently used yall, these were full of "racing stripes" and all.

Heated icescrapers...big hit at garage sales. They were at everyone.

I tried to tell my Mom that the giant inflatable penis was because she was a bachelorette. But something my Mom did not notice was that she had ona viel that was filled with condoms. I am staring to doubt the fact that I might ever get married, but if I do I have asked my friends to please please please don't make me wear a viel with condoms on it.

At some point and time my Mom turns to me and says "I think I have censory over load from all the people we have seen thus far." Heck, that was during garage saling!

As for changing the template and adding pics, I could have done it myself. I just hadn't gotten around to it yet.

P-dog was extremely happy to see his G-Mom (Momdy). She always brings him a treat and plays with him. He is such an attention whore.

We did have a wonderful weekend. Next time I think I will take her to the bar, or give her some alcohol. We will see what she blogs about after that.

Shalissey-Pohh 

Zarrah Lynn "Satan" Stepquatee. She is now MIA, so if you see her please call me.  

The girlies. 

Kye baby-doo. 

Baby Gator 

P-Dog eatting Cheetos....not the flaming hot kind just the puffy ones.  

And if everyone else was jumping off of a bridge.....

I would say NO MA’AM!!! I don’t do heights.
My uncle once: Oh good Lord. What has my Uncle done only once. Lol, so I am gonna change this one to My Mama Once: She hit Old Nasty with a stick. There was this black swan out at the Horn B Game Ranch outside Hedley, TX and his name was Old Nasty. My mama couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn if she tried, but she threw a stick at Old Nasty and caught him right between the wings and he got his wings stuck in the upright position, and I ran to my Dad and yelled “Dad Dad, Mama hit Old Nasty with a stick.” And my Dad had to go catch Old Nasty and get the stick out.High school was: A time that I learned a lot. Not in school, because I didn’t retain that much book knowledge. But life in general. I will never forget: The first time my Mama ever told me she was proud of me. It was in a card, earlier this year. I was 22 and starting grad school and Mama wrote me a card and said she was so proud of the person I have become and the person that she knows that I will be. I once met: I have never met these people but I spot famous people all the time. I saw grandpaw from HeeHaw in Dairy Queen one time, Jesus driving down the interstate in a late 80’s model Baby Blue Ford Taurus, Waylon Jennings and Willy Nelson at the Toot-N-Totum on Tascosa Road, Merl Hargard using a pay phone at Allsups in Plainview, and Saddam Housine (sp?) driving an old Cadillac in Plainview. I swear I have seen all these people. I wouldn’t make this stuff up. Oh yeah, I also saw Shaq riding a Harley in Amarillo. It really was him; he was riding with Willy G. Davidson of Harley Davidson.
Once at a bar: I won $30 in quarters. Midnight Rodeo…Amarillo, Texas…St. Patrick’s Day 2002. By noon I'm usually: Saying so….anyone interested in some lunch type action?
Last night: I went walking with Shalisse, and then went home and walked on the gazelle.If only I had: a magic carpet.Next time I go to church: My Mom will probably cry tears of joy. Though I am thinking about going. Maybe, I will join a nice singles group or something. Yes, yes, I see myself doing this. Lol.
When I turn my head left: a vomit bag that my salesman brought me back from Memphis, TN. I made it into a hand puppet. And the posting that my Mom did about me and grad school, and some pics of the girlies, Kye baby, Tyler, Greg the salesman, and BR the salesman.
When I turn my head right: My picture of Patrick Hayden, and some papers that I need to file, and hole puncher.You know when I'm lying when: I just don’t do it anymore. Its not even worth it cause I can’t lie. People always know.
Every day I think about: how close the weekend is, and how I am going to sleep in, and how geez, I need to do a lot of stuff. By this time next year: I will be a size 10 or maybe an 8, with a better paying job that has room for advancement. I have a hard time understanding: Why it is that if people don’t like their current situation they don’t change it. I mean you can sit around bitchin and moaning, but either fish or cut bait. Don’t just sit around thinking poor me my life sucks. Do something about it!!!If I ever go back to school I'll: be aware that summer has past and it is now fall. You know I like you when: I kid around with you, and can be sarcastic in front of you.If I won an award the first person I'd thank is: My Mom for always having faith in me to do things, and the rest of my family for being supportive (for the most part) in everything that I have ever done.
My ideal breakfast is: my Dad’s cinnamon toast.
A song I love, but do not have is: Don’t Ask Me How I Know by ok I don’t know who sings it.
If you visit my hometown, I suggest: Don’t take that damned cow tour! Stupid fiberglass cows. I never did understand that. And that you get a Cherry Lime-aid from My-T-Burger, they are the best I don’t care what anyone else says. Why won't anyone: learn how to give the thank you wave, when you let them into traffic. I think if they don’t give the thank you wave, you should be allowed to ram into their car. If you spend the night at my house: always let my dog in at night, and it has to be quiet and dark for me to go to sleep. So if you think you might have to go to the potty in the middle of the night please memorize the lay out of my place so that you won’t wake me up when turn on the kabillion watt light bulbs on my vanity. I'd stop my wedding for: Not a damn thing. I don’t see myself ever finding someone that I think I can spend extremely extended periods of time with, so don’t hold your breathe on the wedding thing. But if I do ever get married, come hell or high water I am going through with it.The world could do without: stupid people, I swear they are everywhere, and cute little skinny girls that show off their flat tummys on television (who’s bitter?).I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: no ma’am!!! There will be no cockroach belly licking, under no circumstances, no ma’am!!!Paper clips are more useful than: those hole punchers that punch like a kabillion holes. Ok, more like 8 or 9 holes, but who needs that many holes in their paper anyways? Unless you are trying to make confetti there is no need for that many holes.And by the way: I have no idea how you would even do a blog swap! My Mom could probably tell you how (Princessandthebeads), I don’t know that many people that read my blog so I really don’t think it would matter to much with me. But if my Mom said Hey Baby Gator we are gonna do this, I would just jump on the band wagon.
The last time I was drunk: I sang GS songs on the stump in my front yard with one of my best friends Amy Hudson. She was on the one stump and I was on the other and we put on a concert for our friends. Ah, the good old days. Can’t really do things like that at my new place, lol.