Cards

Ok, so I go to Wal-Mart this morning to get my bosses birthday cake, and a card. While I am in the card section I remember that Saturday is this guy that I like’s birthday. So I think what a great gesture, get him a birthday card and mail it to him. I proceeded to read every birthday card that Wal-Mart had and they all sucked. I mean not just normal suckage, really bad sucked. Here are a few of my fav’s.

There a dog drinking a fru-fru drink on the front, and it reads…Do you want a Fuzzy Navel for your birthday? You open the card and there is fuzzy lint crap taped to the inside and it says insert into belly button.
(What kind of idiot thought this up?)

Snoopy is sitting on top of his dog house with Woodstock typing on his typewriter. And it says a Birthday Poem for you.
Sweet is the Cake and Yummy is the Frosting…
Open the card…
Blowing out all those candles must be quite exhausting.
(Geez)

Another on has an eagle on the front soaring above a valley or something.
Open it up and it says I hope you are flying high this year.
(I think they were promoting drugs)

Makes me wonder who thinks this stuff up. And I was even in the nice card section like the Hallmark section. I read two aisles of cards and couldn’t find a non-stupid one.

Are you Stupid?

I get a phone call from my friend John on Monday. I didn't catch the phone and he leaves a message...Hey Camille, its John, just wanted to let you know I just found out I am gonna be a daddy. Call me back....Click. I had to listen to it more than once. So I call him back and say what happened here, are you gonna be happy with this? And he says of couse I wanted a child. I have wanted to be a daddy for a long time. I said John honey...I want to be a fairy Princess, but that doesn't mean I strap wings to my back and a crown to my head everyday. Are you stupid? So I have come to the conclusion, that yes in fact....John is stupid.