He's not suppose to give us more than we can handle

Somewhere in the Good Book it says that the Lord will not give us more than we can handle. I know this. I tell myself this everyday. That and "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Well I don't feel very strong. Every one of you who I am the slightest bit close to knows what happened around this time last year. Many of you did not know if I was going to make it through all of the struggles, but I did. I came through victorious! Well guess what. Those same old nasty feelings are back. This should be one of the happiest times in my life. I have a wonderful fiance, the best family and friends anyone could ever ask for, a great job, we are buying a house, planned a wedding, and I will graduate in 8 more months. Actually one semester, but I don't take classes in the summer. It is spring time. I think this is suppose to be the happiest time of year, but why is everyone so down lately. Everyone I know is in a bummed out mood, and that worries me. People won't come out and tell you they are hurting on the inside. It just scares me, because I thought things were going well 11 months ago and then the phone call came and my life changed forever. Maybe I am just not over that. Maybe I am afraid history repeats itself. I sit here in no-where New Mexico at the hotel and I cry. I cry while I type this. I want to make things better for everyone and I don't know how. Why do things have to be like this. I don't want anyone to be upset because I am moving, or because they can't help me financially, or because of anything. I just want to look around and see happy people. I want that for everyone. My Mother has no idea how great of a parent she has been. I could tell her until I am blue in the face, but she will never fully understand. And she deserves so much better than the things she has been put through, and she deserves to not have to put up with some stupid shit head that has a chicken little complex. But I can't give her that. B witnessed terrible things in Iraq...Things that I don't even know about. But I know when he wakes up in a sweat after a bad dream that something new has come back into his memory. He deserves to have peace within himself. I can't give him that. Pooh has a big heart, and has been there for me through so much. I want her to feel true happiness, but I can't give it to her. Razz, my oldest friend (13 years and going strong) deserves to not have to work two jobs. She should get to have financial stability, peace in her home, and a happy reason to get up in the morning, but I can't give her that. It is stupid, but I am sitting here crying. People are walking by the computer room window and looking in and seeing me crying and you know what? I don't care. Sometimes it just feels good to cry. I keep telling myself and everyone else who will listen...Just three more weeks and everything will be a ton better, because I will be out of school for the summer, we will be moved into the house, and everything will just fall into place. I think if I say it enough maybe it will be true.